I think we should recognize hick-speak as another language and start teaching our redneck children in their own way in our schools.

After all, it’s widely known that rednecks have their own language and have been speaking it for years. It’s not slang at all. Rednecks are just as smart as reg’lar people, jest talk diffrunt, iz all. We need to be more accepting of the redneck culture and teach these poor redneck children who are falling behind in the classrooms because they have no idea what these hoity-toity edumacated teachers are saying.

Rize up, ye suthnerz. Iz time ta start a’fat’n fer yer rats az a citzun of this here country. We kent hep it if da rest o’ da country iz ignert. We are tarred of hear’n yer farn’er tawk. Makes mah hed hurt.

(HT: La Shawn Barber and ah whole mess a udder wuns.)